I can't believe we are half-way through my time here! Yesterday was alot of fun, after training and church I was able to nap, read and rest and we cleaned our room (every week they go round and check the rooms and there is a charge of a 50c if you have not... cleaned the windows/washed dishes/cleaned toilet, etc... the cleanest room gets the prize money so the first week it was like 30 dollars!) and there was a thunderstorm outside (rain pelting down) and it was warm and cozy inside.... then we realized there was a mud-fight going on outside so after a little mental battle..
Boring adult side of Kat: I'm nice and clean, comfy, just showered... Nooo...
Fun youthful side of Kat: But its a MUD FIGHT!!!!! LETS GOOO!!!
Thankfully the fun side won in like 3 seconds so Eb (room leader) and I put on our dirty clothes and went downstairs and boy it was a full on mud fight, everyone (about 40 people) had gone nuts... people were wrestling and trying to get their opponent into the mud and there was mud just flying about everything. Then somebody shouted TO THE OCEAAAANNN so we all ran there (the people that stopped for us to cross the road must thave thought we were mad) and ran into the ocean as lightening was strking all around us. As lightening got closer we decided it was stupid to be in the water so got out and played ultimate frisbee but instead of a frisbee it was an american football. SO MUCH FUN. Sweat, rain, sand... we kept going till we couldn't see the football anymore and then went back into the ocean to bodysurf (despite the fear of sting rays that come out at night).
****
Since that was written a day has gone past and today all of us got up at 5.30am and trapsed to the beach... funny story... The night before last Rachel was purring away like a cat and then started snoring so Eb and I attempted to make her be quiet and eventually after lifting up her arm to try to turn her over and scampering back into bed in a hysterical fit of silent giggles when she sat up to stare at us she was quiet. Last night I was reading and apparently Rachel (oh dear, I am laughing hysterically right now and am alone in my room) was purring and Eb said passionately "Oh dear God" and I thought she was PRAYING so shut my eyes and after like 5 seconds of silence realized it was an expression of frustration more than a passionate prayer... that was so funny and we were re-telling it today beside the pool and got into a fit of giggles (like you do when you are really tired and just woken up... silliness abounds...) ANYWAY.
Back to the point. We had the theme talk with a missions emphasis last night, it was so convicting and I loved the fact that the prayers and the talk were definetly not a "guilt" thing, of I SHOULD GO, but it was based on Christ. It's not guilt, emotions of excitement or anything that will make us go or give (well it can be..) but it is CHRIST that can put in us love for other people (love that I do not have!). I was convicted of my lack of love for others, for the gospel to spread, for my lack of belief that God can show people his truth and how absorbed in myself I am. I am hopeful again, hopeful that even though last night there were tears and prayers, this does not depend on my emotions but God working through me so I want to commit to whatever he wants for me in the future, and he will be the one that works in me. By his grace. So the prayer today was for India, the CCP team going there and global missions. God is starting to give me faith that he is working in the world and wants me to be a part of it, I think I had forgotten that.
Another thing that I have been learning is how dependent on relationships I am. I NEED people, I don't love them. They are for my own security, to make me feel safe and only then will I take an "interest" in them... it was so discouraging to see, how sin is in me and taints everything, even my relationships. Jealousy, comparisons... the point is not to be fulfilled by relationships but that they would serve to point to Christ - the ultimate fulfiller. To love someone is not to grow as close as possible so you are fulfilling each other as best as you possibly can - it'll just end in disappointment. To love is to be close, but with Christ in the centre, fulfilling the relationship and freeings us from NEEDING people, freeing us to LOVE people. And in seeing how far I am away from that, his grace and the gospel was suddenly so much more wonderful (much sweeter!)... despite my sin, I am loved. I want my idol of relationships to come crashing down and to seek God for fulfillment, because only he can truly fulfill.
Well done for reading all the way down, I will put at the top that the learning stuff is at the bottom, this should probably have gone at the top. Thanks for reading, thanks for the encouragement, it should be my pleasure to share what I have been given, and writing it down is also a way to process it for me so I hope I will keep blogging!
In him,
Kat
Tuesday 29 June 2010
Wednesday 16 June 2010
I can't. He did.
pre-s. Check out http://stp.cominneapolis.org/blog/ for more regular updates on what we are doing :)
This is the problem of not blogging for a while! There is so much to say I am not even sure where to start! Ok so let’s go by numbers...
1) There are many many many different words for American things than British ones. Highway, sneakers, sweater, store, cookies, tennis shoes, purse (handbag), swim suit, trunk, hood, soccer, parking lot, candy, trash.... it is so funny! ( I am frequently mocked because of what I say but it’s all fun... What people most like is I would say “half seven” instead of “seven thirty” and have decided to consciously start saying that!
2) We had a group social and it was called “Recess” (Break time) and all the people wore their shorts, t-shirts with tank tops on top, long socks pulled up to their knees, trainers .. crazy! (I am thankful I had a uniform now hehe) and they had little brown paper bags to put their lunches in (so did no one have lunch boxes as a child?) and then we played four square, kick ball, basketball and skipped! There were 120 “children” in the car park and when real children came up to us they seemed very confused. It was a lot of fun.
3) Grace. I don’t even know where to start! The point of Christianity is that it is over. It has been done. It is FINISHED. It’s not about us trying anymore, we can’t, Jesus did. Christianity is the celebration of a finished work, the saved are home before they started. The cost of our freedom from sin is not obedience, or doing God’s will, resolving to try harder (our best attempts to change make no difference) or pleasing God/ performing for God. The cost was the body of Jesus. We are to stop trying because we are accepted, and rejoice in this fact! But we don’t rejoice, we bring our own cost into it because we want to be God, we want to be the hero of the story. Our flesh wants God dead, I want to be God.
The truth of the matter is that the only thing I bring into this amazing story is sin. Jesus is the hero! And sets us free from God’s wrath – we are not punished for our sin any longer. Free from performance – we don’t have to impress God or anyone else. We are accepted because it is done. Free from fear of death, free from perfection – we have an advocate, when we mess up Jesus is there. Free from masks – trying to make people think we are something. Our greatest desire is to be known and accepted, through Jesus, this has happened! We are free to love because we can stop needing people! Need people less, love people more – because he fulfils all our needs. Free to admire (things beside myself)! Admire Christ, admire what he is doing in others. Stop competing so desperately – pushing others down or being threatened... it is for freedom that we have been set free.
This is the problem of not blogging for a while! There is so much to say I am not even sure where to start! Ok so let’s go by numbers...
1) There are many many many different words for American things than British ones. Highway, sneakers, sweater, store, cookies, tennis shoes, purse (handbag), swim suit, trunk, hood, soccer, parking lot, candy, trash.... it is so funny! ( I am frequently mocked because of what I say but it’s all fun... What people most like is I would say “half seven” instead of “seven thirty” and have decided to consciously start saying that!
2) We had a group social and it was called “Recess” (Break time) and all the people wore their shorts, t-shirts with tank tops on top, long socks pulled up to their knees, trainers .. crazy! (I am thankful I had a uniform now hehe) and they had little brown paper bags to put their lunches in (so did no one have lunch boxes as a child?) and then we played four square, kick ball, basketball and skipped! There were 120 “children” in the car park and when real children came up to us they seemed very confused. It was a lot of fun.
3) Grace. I don’t even know where to start! The point of Christianity is that it is over. It has been done. It is FINISHED. It’s not about us trying anymore, we can’t, Jesus did. Christianity is the celebration of a finished work, the saved are home before they started. The cost of our freedom from sin is not obedience, or doing God’s will, resolving to try harder (our best attempts to change make no difference) or pleasing God/ performing for God. The cost was the body of Jesus. We are to stop trying because we are accepted, and rejoice in this fact! But we don’t rejoice, we bring our own cost into it because we want to be God, we want to be the hero of the story. Our flesh wants God dead, I want to be God.
The truth of the matter is that the only thing I bring into this amazing story is sin. Jesus is the hero! And sets us free from God’s wrath – we are not punished for our sin any longer. Free from performance – we don’t have to impress God or anyone else. We are accepted because it is done. Free from fear of death, free from perfection – we have an advocate, when we mess up Jesus is there. Free from masks – trying to make people think we are something. Our greatest desire is to be known and accepted, through Jesus, this has happened! We are free to love because we can stop needing people! Need people less, love people more – because he fulfils all our needs. Free to admire (things beside myself)! Admire Christ, admire what he is doing in others. Stop competing so desperately – pushing others down or being threatened... it is for freedom that we have been set free.
Thursday 3 June 2010
Still not burnt !
Hallo hallo hallo!
I have now been here for over a week but it feels like so much longer! We are settling down into more of a routine and this summer’s theme is “At All Costs” and we will be studying the book of Philippians. It’s amazing how God answers prayer and meets our needs, I will be helping out here with media stuff, taking pictures, writing on the Project blog (http://stp.cominneapolis.org/blog/ ), uploading pictures and they have a budget for someone to do that so that is going to provide money for the rent here! So when everyone else is working I will be doing that and in the afternoons I am going to AiT (Athletes in Training) with some other students. We have been twice and at the start there is a short devotional and then we train (an hour of sprints, or agility and then another hour of lifting as they call it here (=weights)) and then at the end we have a time of prayer focusing on our teams back home or our own lives. It is making me realize that God is to be a part of all my life, including sports! So a normal week looks like this:
Monday: Work in the morning, AiT (2.00-5.00) and at night there is a talk on the theme (At all Costs)
Tuesday: Work AM, AiT PM, Team time (see previous post) and then the discipleship groups at night.
Wednesday: Rest in the morning, Evangelism training and beach evangelism in the afternoon and then time off in the evening.
Thursday: Work AM, AiT PM and the Project Social of the week
Friday: Bible Study Training in the morning and work in the afternoon and evening.
Saturday: Rest in the morning or evening and work in the afternoon and either morning or evening.
Sunday: Life Training and then Church, Rest in the afternoon and an optional time of praise and worship and then theology time at night.
Basically, we have been told that the teachings will be like us drinking from a water hydrant, you just have to open your mouth wide and gulp quickly and process things as much as possible here, but August will be a month of processing and going through everything. What has impacted me this week is the fact that the life offered to us by God is like a treasure, it is a banquet that we are invited to! But there are costs, our attachment to what we love (prestige, following your own impulses, your own “goodness” for example) has to be severed so that we will come to the banquet. But the cost of losing these things is not to make us miserable but to give us a life full of joy! Another illustration I loved was the idea that God’s grace and all he has done for us is like a swelling, overflowing river. What do you do with that? To try to impress God with how good we are is like lugging buckets of mud and pouring them as an offering into the river. God doesn’t need us, he bids us to come, stick out faces in the river and drink. He loves to do the rescuing and the giving – when we are happy in God, he is glorified.
I have now been here for over a week but it feels like so much longer! We are settling down into more of a routine and this summer’s theme is “At All Costs” and we will be studying the book of Philippians. It’s amazing how God answers prayer and meets our needs, I will be helping out here with media stuff, taking pictures, writing on the Project blog (http://stp.cominneapolis.org/blog/ ), uploading pictures and they have a budget for someone to do that so that is going to provide money for the rent here! So when everyone else is working I will be doing that and in the afternoons I am going to AiT (Athletes in Training) with some other students. We have been twice and at the start there is a short devotional and then we train (an hour of sprints, or agility and then another hour of lifting as they call it here (=weights)) and then at the end we have a time of prayer focusing on our teams back home or our own lives. It is making me realize that God is to be a part of all my life, including sports! So a normal week looks like this:
Monday: Work in the morning, AiT (2.00-5.00) and at night there is a talk on the theme (At all Costs)
Tuesday: Work AM, AiT PM, Team time (see previous post) and then the discipleship groups at night.
Wednesday: Rest in the morning, Evangelism training and beach evangelism in the afternoon and then time off in the evening.
Thursday: Work AM, AiT PM and the Project Social of the week
Friday: Bible Study Training in the morning and work in the afternoon and evening.
Saturday: Rest in the morning or evening and work in the afternoon and either morning or evening.
Sunday: Life Training and then Church, Rest in the afternoon and an optional time of praise and worship and then theology time at night.
Basically, we have been told that the teachings will be like us drinking from a water hydrant, you just have to open your mouth wide and gulp quickly and process things as much as possible here, but August will be a month of processing and going through everything. What has impacted me this week is the fact that the life offered to us by God is like a treasure, it is a banquet that we are invited to! But there are costs, our attachment to what we love (prestige, following your own impulses, your own “goodness” for example) has to be severed so that we will come to the banquet. But the cost of losing these things is not to make us miserable but to give us a life full of joy! Another illustration I loved was the idea that God’s grace and all he has done for us is like a swelling, overflowing river. What do you do with that? To try to impress God with how good we are is like lugging buckets of mud and pouring them as an offering into the river. God doesn’t need us, he bids us to come, stick out faces in the river and drink. He loves to do the rescuing and the giving – when we are happy in God, he is glorified.
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